Cosmo shows you 5 signs men are capable of rape.

I god damn kid you not.


I would have expected some sort of physical signs (shiftiness, has a knife) that a man is capable of rape, but seriously, I'd imagine most man is capable of rape just on the basis that they have a penis. Fortunately, Cosmo points out the actual signs you should look for in case you have reservations that the man you know is incapable of rape (commentary offered by ludickid:

1. He carefully plans his attacks

"...and tennis, sometimes hiking, and curling up with a good silly movie. How about you?"

"Carefully planning my attacks."

2. He is likely a serial rapist

Well, I'll give them that. Being a serial rapist is a pretty good sign that a guy is capable of rape.

And if they ARE a serial rapist, how are you to find out?
"Hey Chad, what have you been up to?"
"Raping."

3. He holds stereotypical view of men and women

That would include 95% of the population of the planet, including everyone who reads or writes for Cosmo.

4. He uses alcohol and/or drugs as a tool

Alcohol and drugs, of course, should only be used as entertainments, and never for practical effect. I'm just sorry this didn't say "He uses alcohol and drugs and is a tool."

I'm not really too sure about this "tool" business, do they mean that I would repair a broken manifold with vodka and ecstasy?

5. He uses psychological domination more than brute force

This is the only one that even remotely approaches good, useful advice, and it's still pretty stupid. It's nice to know that Cosmo still sucks as much as it did the last time I actually opened one up, around 1986 or so.