Monday, June 30, 2008

time for a drink!

I would, at this moment, to ask people to not send me pictures of people pouring beer over their junk, because not only is that pun distasteful, also I'm pretty sure that's why Jesus curse you with penis cancer.


There are so many different things wrong with this picture.

First of all, those necklaces are just TACKY, and let's not even get into those ancient roof tiles!


Suck my... uh... well no.

Anybody need a cat?

or a ferocious attack kitten?

This destructive kitty has been trained as a proud warrior and will fiercely defend your house, even against you. Well-trained since 10-weeks of age to attack anything in his presence, he will protect your family from evil things, including the following:

* insects
* other trained attack kittens
* babies
* toilet paper
* anything under a blanket
* unwanted house guests
* paper bags
* floor rugs
* Chuck Norris
* Feet.

Best of Craigslist

Dogs defy the bounds of Gravity.

Like that, I just need to think like a dog to defeat the bounds of gravity!

I could use a nap.

I just need to beat this annoying "gravity" thing.

Hitler was a G


Good luck with life after that

Poor kid, that had to hurt A LOT!

Very subtle

I think I am picking up some kind of vague subtext from Interview With A Vampire.
What could it all mean? I am having a hard time with this because I am wearing this shirt.

Modify yourself

Self improvement at it's best.

Lunch was good today.

But I just know I will be hungry again in half an hour.

The Knob Creek Machine Gun Finale.

Gun enthusiasts from all over the nation gathers, twice a year, at the Knob Creek gun show to buy, sell, or just show off their implements of ballistic fury. The event is capped off with a machine gun bonanza, a simply riveting display of the fury of machine gun blasts at giant tanks of diesel strapped with dynamite. Regardless of your opinion on guns, this display of pure unadulterated fire power is majestic to behold, and brings a tear to my cold black cholesterol laden heart.

Knob Creek machine gun shoot.
Knob Creek Machine Gun shoot video order info

Oh yeah!!!

Let's say you are crucified in the desert, left to die a slow and painful death at the hands of dehydration. As your body loses precious electrolytes and the electrical impulses in your brain begin to fade away you look off into the horizon... who would you most like to see coming to your aid (dammit, sorry Benny)...
Yeah, me too.

The Japanese Spiderman

It's not as pure sexual fantastico as the Italian Spiderman, but in true Japanese approach, they added a giant transforming robot to the display.

I'm intrigued, but what I really want is more Italian Spiderman.

The Italian Spiderman punches your mother and possess your heart.

JR pointed me towards Double Viking to show me some video of a wonderfully attractive young lady, but as all things nerdy and slightly gay goes, I got distracted by the sheer gyrating excellence that is the Italian Spider man.

By the way, you remember this gif?

Yes, it's from the Italian Spiderman, everything good and holy has come together to give us something excellent.

The Trailer:

So far, 6 episodes has been produced, with possibly more along the way, I cannot stress enough how beautiful this is, so beautiful, in fact, that I will now need a new pair of pants. Ah Italian Spiderman, your cigarettes and wild manly mustache bewilders my senses and sets my loins ablaze with childish delight.

The production blog: The Mantis' Quill

Friends do things together.


How can I become partially famous?

Apparently, I should start a one post blog.

damn it, I can't believe I didn't capitalize on that.

Wait, but that means this blog would have only one post in it, and this post, in fact, wouldn't exist at all.

Crap, it's like I hopped in a time machine and had sex with my grandma, thus effectively negating my existence, only to find out I'm my own grandfather (wtf).


you know, the above sounded funnier in my head and/or Futurama, but once I wrote it down it just becomes creepy and strange...

One Post Wonder

Drink Pepsi

Not just the choice of the new generation, but also bears.

Actually, the lesson here really isn't "Drink Pepsi", is it? No, it's more like "Drink Coke, lest ye be Mauled by Sir Goode Bear"... I have no idea when the ad that exist in my imagination went to "Ye Goode Olde Timey Lande".

I could use a brain wash.

This is not quite what I meant, that, and I'm not some hot chick in a miniskirt.


For your monday monrning commute

Hopefully you won.

God damn mondays...

Sunday, June 29, 2008

What's better then a large Slave Leias gathering for a photo op?

A Slave Leia pillow fight.

Yes, Alanis, this IS Ironic.

Truck Full Of Extinguishers Catches Fire
A truck full of fire extinguishers and other safety equipment caught fire in Lancaster Township Wednesday afternoon.

Once you read the entire article it becomes much less ironic, but I'm sure that the international firefighting association all had a jolly good laugh out of that.

Picture courtesy of Make

Friday, June 27, 2008

This Thread is somewhat Super Hero related.

Thanks Stacy.

That's a pretty awesome hat.

From my "Guidebook to Psycologically Damage your Children until they Collapse in a Coma and can Never Love again", I present you, Chapter 8.16: Chase Them with your Possessed Ghost Mask Hat.

One of the many ladies and their fancy hats at the Royal Ascot.

The Top 10 Silliest Hats in England

The Moment After the Show: Rockstars Exposed.

A Swedish photographer took pictures of rock stars moments after they were done with the show, the key words used to describe these pictures would be "candid" and "intimate".

I should look into being an art critic.

Iggy Pop

Mike Patton (Fantoma/Faith No MOre)

More at Blame it on the Voices

Looks like it's another slow day.

Every blogger on earth must be waiting in line to watch Wall-E, and then getting into the line to watch the Dark knight, in 2 weeks, or something like that.

Having problems with the local wild life?

Get Amy Winehouse on the job!

The Sun

Highly Unecessary.

Srsly guys.

TIme for a break.

I could sure use a drink and a smoke.

I didn't know they had a whole line of shirts.

How awesome is this!

If you find this in your dairy section please inform the FDA

Because this is not strictly for eating.

And stop staring.

Tell me how much you love Cincinnati.

Blame it on the voices

Oh That Deadpool...

Ninjas are the New Bomb Threats.

BARNEGAT, N.J.—It's the case of the nonexistent ninja. Public schools in Barnegat were locked down briefly after someone reported seeing a ninja running through the woods behind an elementary school.

Turns out the ninja was actually a camp counselor dressed in black karate garb and carrying a plastic sword.

Police tell the Asbury Park Press the man was late to a costume-themed day at a nearby middle school.

The lockdown began shortly after 9 a.m. Wednesday and lasted until 9:30.

The thing about ninjas, that people tend to forget, is that if you can spot a ninja, then you wouldn't be in any danger at all. Mostly because the spottable ninja is probably some rubbish ninja reject. What you have to look out for is when you don't see a ninja, because that's how they strike, with out you knowing.

Shit I'm surrounded by ninjas right now, I just know it.

The NYC water fall project perplexs millions, raking in millions for the city.

I've seen multiple articles from New Yorkers who profess that they do feel like an absolute foreigner whenever they travel out of their fair city. If you end up asking JR about New Yorkers, he'll give you a two hour long rant on why New Yorkers just seem to be good with complaining about how things aren't like New York and finish the entire rant off by strangling a New Yorker to death. With that being said, their new Multi-Waterfall installation rather puzzles me. Giant Scaffolding erected to absorb and then dispense water at an extravagant rate as a reminder of time's fleeting presence seems just a bit... incomprehensible to me, but what do I know, I'm a human.

New Yorkers exist in a zone of madness you can't hope to comprehend.

NYC Waterfalls from the Water (gothamist)

Tom Cruise is Madness Incarnate

Hijinks Ensue is hilarity.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

A really fantastic send off of George Carlin.

Here I am, sick and tired of reading 3 word blogs of people being sad about George Carlin gone, and swore to god that I'd never say anything about it ever again.

And then I came across this send off by Louis C.K.

George walks straight off of the street onto the stage. A crowd of 3200 people is going apeshit. A LOT of comedians would take that in, stand there looking proud and get every last clap and holler on tape before saying "Thank you. Thanks. Alright. How we doin? This is great!" But George is SO eager to get his first thought out, he's trying to make them shut up so that he can do the bravest, boldest opening joke ever. "Why is it the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place."
Whoa. What a brushback pitch. Amazing. Any comedian with a joke like that would bury it inside of an act full of goodwill so that they wouldn't lose the audience. George is DYING to tell it to a primo special taping audience. He OPENS with it.

The entire article is wonderful, and I suggest everyone to go and read it, it gave me a whole new perspective on this man called George Carlin who is more then just 7 curse words.

Good Bye, George Carlin (Louis C.K.)

Blogging 101 - You Don't Need a Blog and for god's sake, Don't Suck

Where was this blog and that blog when I was thinking about starting this abomination of a turgid corpse?

The original intent of this blog was to circumvent the dodgy "stop emailing epically stupid pictures to each other" system erected after a few individuals has been caught viewing lascivious materials of questionable morals at the office space (I like to imagine that they were watching 2G1C and were so ecstatic over it the showered their office with... um... inappropriate bodily fluid. I'm thinking one thing, you can be sticky and think of others.). Over time, I've tried to turn it into something it can never be, some sort of half assed lame competition like various media aggregate blogs which has already existed and has done a rather superb job of telling you what's hot.

Frankly, this is stupid, and desperately searching for pictures has left me with a distateful stench in the back of my mouth, why did I ever think this was a good idea?

What I actually really wanted was a bulletin board system, members sign in, bother each other with stupidity, then leave, and everyone's happier, like 4chan, but completely lacking in sadness.

and phallises, what is the deal with that website and people showing pictures of their junk? I DON'T WANT TO SEE PENISES, GO AWAY, ANONYMOUS PENIS, SHOW ME FUNNY, NOT PEDO BEAR!

don't bother asking, I seemed to have gone quite boorish.

The I, Libertine Hoax.

If you still didn't bother listen to the recorded interview in WFMU's Beware of the Blog despite the rave love given from boingboing and neatorama, then far be it for I, this humble blog writer whose readership reaches the upwards of tens (9 of them being me) to plead you to give it a listen.

You would be missing out on a great time though.

The audio's terrible, and the first 5 minutes sounds like the rantings from a lunatic elitist, but once the story began rolling, it just turned into such a great ride.

The I, Libertine Hoax

Sure, I could have formatted that picture to be a small size while sitting comfortably to the left of my text, so that it would retain some strange form of coherency, but foresight is the abomination of preservation, and if there's one thing I'm jolly good at, that would be WASTING TOO MUCH OF EVERYTHING, INCLUDING CYBERSPACE REALESTATE!

The guilt rides in.

I think that after a while, you really just want to provide your own content, because you can't even trust in your decision in posting pictures that you think it's funny, but you aren't sure. And isn't it really easier to have made your own stupid crap, then display for the world to see, only to have your hopes and dreams dashed when people come up to you and go "yeah... I don't get it."

but LOOK!

I did not make that.

The Longer You Stare At This Tanuki Statue...

The funnier it will be when it HAUNTS YOUR DREAMS FOR ETERNITY!

Feeding Time


I must build this.


From Cradle to Grave: The Story of Life, Told with Beds

I can't remember if I posted this or not...