I'm not quite there yet...

Daily posts are still going to be few and far between, gotta get ready for a move and all.

See you on the flip side, which is a term I don't quite understand, because if your side got flipped, then shit, wouldn't you be upside down and breaking the law of gravity, which isn't really a law and more of a "I will follow your silly ruling for now, until I can stab you in the heart and then fly to my heart's content."

Oh, right, enjoy some boobs:

Taking a picture AND masturbating to it? Why, I believe someone has taken your advice, nice lady!

Posture

chest forward and back straight, yes...

Cleavage

I mean, really very epic...

Fiber-Optic Bra:

They glow in the dark. COMING NEXT SUMMER: FIBER-OPTIC PENIS SHEATH!

"Benny!" you say, "all you do is catering to the lowest common denominator, don't you have some decency?"

Well, first of all, no, and second of all, Clowns:

It's true, no matter how much of a "people" clowns like to call themselves, all they want to do is to hurt you, inside and out. And seriously, it's hard to trust clowns, especially Zombie Clowns:

I've also thought that it's a Two-Face clown, actually...

Oh, right, here, and we'll finish with a puppy:

Soaking its golden retriever paws in a bucket of yellow water/beer/pee? Sweet god, puppies ARE retarded.

Do you ever get the feeling that fan made demotivators aren't really demotivators anymore?

All things considered, it could all be so much worse.

Slowly working myself back into the internet groove, ever since they killed my manga streaming sites (some legal kerfuffle stacked on a waffle, I hear) I've been slowly getting back to browsing the interwebs. Once things settle down and I discover the magic of blogging, this blog will once again explode with content.

Not that it would matter at that point, everyone's moved on to facebook and twitter, or the new digg, or some other form of social web that lets you share your information with the same callous disregard as a piece of blackened banana peel.

Also, has anyone seen JayAre? I hear rumors that he moved to Mars, but I also hear that Martians make for terrible neighbors (lots of methane, apparently).

"Promises Promises"

Look, I'm pretty oblivious to all things pop culture, like finding out that the guy who sang this song:


Is Detective Brisco:



This picture is apparently from "photofest", or somebody, I don't know, but please let me know if you don't want that picture floating around.

Blissfully unaware, I was. Corrected though.

Also that song is completely stuck in my head.

Remember When This Blog Was Nothing But Stupid Pictures I Come Across On The Interwebz?

Yeah... me neither, maybe some other time.

Trust me, there are times that I would come across some picture and go "OH MAN, I WOULD TOTALLY SHARE THAT PICTURE WITH EVERYONE!" and then I'll say "OH MAN, I LOVE DOING METH OFF THE BACK OF A HOBO STRIPPER!"

I may have problems.

WHERE THE HELL IS THAT VIBRATING NOISE COMING FROM?

This New Template is All Elegant and All...

But why do I have a sudden urge to go sail a yacht?

And then DIE!

Edit: Actually, hell, it's GLARINGLY white!

Oh Hey Well What The Hell Happened Here?

It's been a while since I've posted anything, and I'm not super sad to say... I don't really miss it. Anyway, this is just a quick announcement to kind of get things kicked back into gear. I'm not super happy with my free photo hosts and I may end up switching blog (or incorporate other styles of blogs) while messing around with features.

There are basically two things you will know:
1) updates will be super infrequent
2) whenever I'm updating, I'll probably be drunk.

And now here are two pictures I found on 4chan, which is still a horrible seething mess of horror that delights the cockles of my being while sets on fire anything and anyone that I've ever loved:

Exhibit 1) A Clean Toilet:

Just be glad the bubbles are clean.

Exhibit 2) WTF is going on?

I can't explain this even if you strangle my puppy, so please stop strangling my puppy.

People think trawling through internet looking for pictures and videos of amusement is easy, yeah, sure it's easy, if you want to turn an amusing hobby into soul searing god damn work.

Hey Guys...

So... in hopes of mining more comedy gold to entertain whoever it is that stumbles across this blog, I spent a good 3 to 4 hours on 4chan last night to... uh... ah, who cares, I was so emotionally beaten that I can barely squeeze anything out...

This is how I feel about 4chan

I'm going on a hiatus, I'll see you guys some other time.

The Kelli USB Resembles More Of A Creepy Stalker Fantasy...

Reminds me of my 7th grade love poetry.

"Kelly, you are so pretty.
I want to chop off your head
and stick your body into my Pentium 133
and stuff..."

I'm not good with poetry.

Actually, I'm really creepy.

Obama Buying A New Marine One Fleet? Not Anytime Soon.

Putting the whole budget issue aside, there is a new reason why the White House will not and should not purchase the new fleet of Marine One-s: Iran's got their hands on the blueprint of the entire avionics package for the new Marine One.

According to ZDnet:

Bob Boback, CEO of Tiversa, said, ”We found a file containing entire blueprints and avionics package for Marine One. … What appears to be a defense contractor in Bethesda, MD had a file sharing program on one of their systems that also contained highly sensitive blueprints for Marine One,” Boback said.

Here I am, stuck with IE because our IT department won't let me install Firefox because of security/licensing reasons, and you fucktards go and ruin it for the rest of us with your inadvertent act of treason because you can't kick your Beyonce addiction. You god damn shit stain, I hope your genitalia grows teeth, falls off, and eats you alive with a side of explosive bowel disruptive gangrene.

I'm back... kind of...

Hey hey, it's Benny, slowly getting back to the run of the things now that work isn't giving me traumatic cirrhosis...

Okay, so work wasn't giving me a cirrhosis before, in fact, I'm pretty sure that work is one of the least leading cause of cirrhosis.

That's true, dude, that's true.

Anyway, as per our usual silent agreement which were never expressed in any manner that could hold me culpable in a court of law in any way, it's time for me to POST AS MUCH PICTURES AS I CAN IN A STRANGELY SCHEDULED MANNER!

A quick update.

As some of you may already know, there was a recent round of lay-offs at the company I work at. Dustin from Dray's Blog was one of them, and so too were JR.

This may be where you go "well, but doesn't that mean that now JR has all day to post really stupid picture?"

Well... see, JR doesn't have internet at home, in fact, he follows the literal title of this blog more then I do, all his posts were done at work (during breaks, of course). Now that he no longer has internet, and has no way of purchasing and maintaining one, it will be even more difficult for him to post anything on the interwebatron.

So if you see less of JR's postings and wonders to yourself "did JR die?" Rest assured that A) Benny won't know, and B) JR won't be able to tell you!

Awesome!

Here's hoping that things pick up for JR and Dustin soon, just like everyone suffering in the current economic climate. And now, here is a t-rex devouring Noah:

A Midget On A Gladiator

Master Blaster from Mad Max, Beyond the Thunderdome.

On a side note, I'm currently listening to The Late Night With Conan O'Brien Research Team Podcast, which is basically just a "behind the scenes" look of the talk show. I would recommend this podcast, except that everything coming out of it is all morning-zoo and way too cheesy. It's like listening to a table of really loud and drunk people, and it sounds like they are having fun, but you know they are just hollow on the inside.

In case you are wondering...

Yes I fudged with the layout format again, I've finally become dissatisfied enough to change the format. This one tend to lend itself to make JR's post look even more organized, while mine will still look like hobo excrement.

A hobo that can't seem to stop excre...menting(?).

In other news, I am getting close to clearing out my image folders, so it may look like it is time again to TRAWL THE INTARWEBS!

I'm curious, though, I know a few of you that read this blog happened here because either JR or I told you about it, but I can't imagine the other 3 readers actually came here knowingly, and willingly stuck around. With so many other websites out there with interesting pictures, why do you bother coming back here for content?

Not that I mind, after all, we are all but internet parasites, feasting on delicious morsels dropped off at our door step by giant dump trucks heavily laden with information.

Looks like I'm done for the day.

I've been trying for the last 3 hours, but I can't seem to upload any pictures from blogger, and I'm much too lazy to upload pictures to some of my other photo accounts and link them here.

This internal error is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love 1-click uploading.

I'll pollute your eyeballs tomorrow.

I'm not quite back into the groove yet.

You'll have to forgive me, you don't have to, but I'd feel better if you do.

Not that you care how I feel.

In other news, Cracked sums up why exactly Fox should eat an ocean surge of dicks.

And die.

They didn't tell Fox to go die, but I wish Fox would die.

Simpsons are overrated at this point anyway.

Oh god can I please get some firefox up in this joint?

Man, I keep forgetting this is my blog.

Blessed with a super short memory and a long term memory more akin to a frayed blanket then a sharp tool, I often visit this site first thing in the morning saying "MAN, I WONDER WHAT NEW STUFF IS UP!", completely forgetting that this is MY blog, that if I want some new stuff on this blog I would have to post it.

Yeah, sure, I can expect JR to post some new media, but for some odd reason he doesn't start contributing until the afternoons, it may have to do with that flask he carries around all the time.

Aaaaaaand in other news, EMPATHY BEAR!


Coming to an emo band near you!

The New Punisher Movie is so Violent You will Sweat Blood.

Which isn't related to how some girl in India is sweating blood at all.



Sorry about the lack of posts, being on vacation threw me off kilter and I'm not really all together yet.

That, and I've been distracted by a new MMORPG, so ther posting may be incredibly sparse.

Let's just pretend I'm taking a vacation this month and be pleasantly surprised when I do post anything.

How Bush Did it

"How Bush Did It" is the 2004 "How He Did It" Article by Newsweek, I'm currently desperately trying to find the 2000 edition, but I doubt I'll have much luck on that.

How Bush Did It
Inner Circle
Trench Warfare
Teaming Up
All in the Family
The Vets Attack
Face to Face
Down to the Wire

I am seriously thinking about copying all those articles and posting them here, who knows when the next media shakeup will be? I'd rather have the articles available to read for free with no strings attached (fuck you, internet "libraries" that just want to phish information out of me for reading an article that didn't even belong to you!) then having to trudge through the exhaustively retarded search tool provided by Newsweek.

How He Did it.

I have been reading this wonderful piece on Newsweek called Barack Obama: How He Did it. "How He Did it" is a special exclusive article from Newsweek covering the behind the scene happenings of the major party candidates for the United States Presidency. The project was started back in 1984, and involved Newsweek reporters sent to various candidates to each major candidate's campaign to observe and record. The one stipulation was that they were only allowed to report the information they uncovered after the polls are closed. In other words, these are awesome behind the scene stories that humanized the candidates like you have never seen before... Well, that is, unless you read the 2004 edition of "How Bush Did It", then you've probably seen something like this before.

Here is an excerpt that I absolutely loved:

The debates unnerved both candidates. When he was preparing for them during the Democratic primaries, Obama was recorded saying, "I don't consider this to be a good format for me, which makes me more cautious. I often find myself trapped by the questions and thinking to myself, 'You know, this is a stupid question, but let me … answer it.' So when Brian Williams is asking me about what's a personal thing that you've done [that's green], and I say, you know, 'Well, I planted a bunch of trees.' And he says, 'I'm talking about personal.' What I'm thinking in my head is, 'Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I f---ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective'."

AWESOME!

I really can't explain what a fantastic read this is, I can only urge you to give it a chance, and I hope and pray that the last chapter be made available online soon.

Highlights: Hacker and Spending Spree
Chapter 1: How He Did It
Chapter 2: Back From the Dead
Chapter 3: The Long Siege
Chapter 4: Going Into Battle
Chapter 5: Center Stage
Chapter 6: The Great Debate
Chapter 7: The Final Days
I am seriously thinking about heading to the store to pickup a print copy.

(The reason I listed the chapters and title of the story is that newsweek apparently doesn't care about their stories past the age of 1 month. And their chapter menu is flash driven and separate from the article. This means that someday some fresh faced intern will accidentally hit delete, and the links to all these wonderful stories will blow away like dust in the wind, only decipherable by internet archeologists. I'm actually really tempted to post all the chapters separately here, so that years later, if this blog still exist, I can find the actual stories without having to jump through weird URL hoops and killing koala bears for an actual address.)

Happy B day, JayAre

Hopefully you are busy getting plastered, man.




Probably a somewhat NSFW picture.