Warren Ellis on Writing script for GI Joe: RESOLUTE

I'm not really sure if a Warren Ellis (Transmetropolitan) written GI Joe will usher in some new era of fanboy delight, but I do know that it'll be shit crazy.

It went like this. Sam Register phoned me up and said, we’d really like you to write a GI JOE animation, at a PG-13 rating, aimed at an older viewer. I said, I’ve never seen a GI JOE cartoon in my life. The closest I got to a GI JOE comic was drinking with Larry Hama. I’ve never even seen a GI JOE. Couldn’t tell you what they look like if you paid me. I know nothing about GI JOE. It is meaningless in my world.

Excellent, Sam said. Just the guy we need.

It was hard not to notice, at this point, that Sam Register is crazier than a shithouse rat. Therefore I decided to take the job.

and then there's this quote:

"Ask them if GI JOE and Barbie can have a really disturbing sex scene where they get naked and then realise they don’t have any genitalia," said my girlfriend.

Everyone was so helpful during this project.

and finally:

I think they were happy when I presented them with the initial list of characters I was going to just kill. And then the list of things I was going to blow up.

[...]

HASBRO: No, Warren, you cannot wipe Beijing from the face of the earth.

ME: Shit. (pause) What about Moscow?

HASBRO: Wiping Moscow from the face of the earth would be fine.

You can read his full rundown here.

As a child borne realizing that transforming robots kick stereotypical looking mercenary's ass (or ambiguously super-gay prince/kingdom), I never cared much for the GI Joe property, and I'm sure that if you reach deep down, ultimately, we all just like playing with toys, and could care less what happened to which character who did what to whose armor tank and raped the cobra base when shipwreck drowned 14 villages with mega-ninjaton penis jackknife.

I seemed to have drifted off again...