Last week was the glorious return of E3, through all its pomp and circumstances my eyes were glued to the internet tubes desperately slurping out any more news about upcoming video games and gaming oriented technology, which is a long way to say: I was too busy being creepy about video games to come across what may be the most fascinatingly disturbing piece of news:
David Carradine, 72, was found dead in a hotel in Bangkok.
That by itself may not raise many eyebrows, but then the circumstances became weird. How weird, you ask? Well how about "found with his arms hanging off a bar in the closet completely naked with a rope tied around his man bits"? Does that count as weird?
To make situations worse, apparently some Thailand Rag had plastered pictures of David Carradine's dead naked body in all its autoerotic asphyxiated glory.
I'm not going to even bother posting any pictures because:
1) I don't have any
2) I'm not looking for any god damn pictures of a dead naked David Carradine with strings around his man bits...
3) Just... NO!
David Carradine joins the proud list of celebrities like Jerzy Kosinski (in 1991) and Michael Hutchence (in 1997) who died in a senseless act of chocking yourself while playing with your wiener.
But let's also not forget about the Ninja conspiracy, as in "David Carradine was investigating illegal underground martial arts and was executed by assassins for KNOWING TOO MUCH!"
Most of these are wild theories and speculative accusations, and considering that the news source came out of Thailand, I would take it all in with a large spoonful of lye-flavored salt.
RIP David Carradine, you deserved so much better.