Pizza Pro Cutter

When on flips through the SkyMall catalog, one couldn't help but find that there's some ostentatious and vastly overpriced merchandise being sold in it. Occasionally, you would come across some gems, and at first, I thought this product was one of them:


The Pizza Pro Cutter, now YOU can have the perfect slice, EVERY SLICE!

Imagine my childish delight as I marveled at this luxurious utensil, no longer will I wallow under the iron fisted rule of the shoddy pizza cutter. Now, I can just insert spatula, cut, and wonder why in the world did I invest so much god damn money on a unitasker that's so specialized that it would make a plastic coat hanger look utilitarian.

in other news, Tombstone Pizza Vending Machine, I need each pizza to cost about a dollar, and I need it right next to me.

(She Eats)