It's not sexual, I swear.

I have to admit that one of my most frequent fantasy involves me, a giant bucket of spice rub, and sausages, but not necessary in the following order:

A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed spices over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man on the face and head before running out of the house, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday.

I'm not crazy in thinking that this is god damn weird, right?

"I tell you, this was one weird case."

Oh Thank God.

Fresno Bee via Neatorama.