Did I Mention I Waste Too Much Time At Work?

Ramen is Delicious

2011-02-05T21:04:00.001-06:00

also, apparently it's 10% noddles and 90% love...

Little girl agrees

Meanwhile, in Soviet Russia

2011-02-05T21:03:00.001-06:00

You Carry Horse?

my mind is blown.

Carpets With a Sense of Humor

2011-02-05T20:59:00.002-06:00

Apparently these "LOL Shags" they were being sold at Lowes, but no news on whether Lowes still carry them.

I would have gotten one had I knew about it.

Ghostbuster

2011-02-05T20:58:00.000-06:00

heh.

Want to know how to keep your watermelon fresh?

2011-02-05T20:57:00.001-06:00

USE A CONDOM!

Upon hindsight, that's a pretty small melon...

NEED FRUITS? BUY GM FRUITS!

2011-02-05T20:54:00.002-06:00

GM FRUITS, THE ONLY FRUIT THAT BITES BACK!

I think the term "GM" is only really used by the British folks, considering that over here in the great US of A we call them "Deeeeeeeeelicous!"

Baby Snow Seal Need Help

2011-02-05T20:49:00.000-06:00

HALP!

Bat Golf Cart

2011-02-05T20:45:00.001-06:00

Batman needs to golf too.

Oh, right, I have a batman tag...

Deep Fried Butter

2011-02-05T20:44:00.000-06:00

I HUNGER!

Olly Moss

2011-02-05T20:28:00.004-06:00

From excellent movie poster remakes to t-shirt designs, Olly Moss does some fascinating great stuff like:

Robocop on a Unicorn (yes it was a meme, I believe it was instigated, if not started, by Xeni Jardin of BoingBoing, who knows.)

Some great Star Trek "Trouble with Tribbles" poster

Has Spock and Uhura always been an item?

Dirty Harry Poster

Die Hard Poster

The Spoilit:

I know we posted this picture before, but do you know you can buy it from Threadless

Olly Moss

Guys, I've switched from bourbon to scotch, mostly because I've run out of bourbon and will soon run out of scotch.

just saying.

Wall Gator

2011-02-05T20:22:00.002-06:00

great, now they've figured out how to partially evade the painful pull of gravity.

Crazy 4 Cult

2011-02-05T20:11:00.002-06:00

I desperately wanted to get this as a poster but sadly, Mike Mitchel does not have that for sale in his shop. Lots of other cool prints there though.

Ushanka wearing Snow Cat Shred on a Guitar

2011-02-05T20:07:00.003-06:00

I just learned that the furry soviet cap is actually called a Ushanka, thank you, google.

Oh wait, crap, that's supposed to be a pompadour, meh.

Need Some Help Installing Windows?

2011-02-05T19:59:00.001-06:00

Clippy is here to help.

Ceiling Spiders

2011-02-05T19:55:00.001-06:00

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffffffffffffffffffffff

I don't have a "spider" tag? WTF, SPIDERS ARE TERRIFYING!

Bunny Has Toilet Paper

2011-02-05T19:54:00.001-06:00

Silly Bunny, you don't have any hands with working digits to wipe your pellet dispensing bottom.

Scott C Does Some Pretty Neat Pictures about Movies

2011-02-05T19:49:00.002-06:00

Here's his website:
Scott C has a gallery show somewhere in San Francisco:

Look guys, I'm not gonna lie, I've been drinking...

Why did I put colons there?

Rocks Viewed Through Your Favorite Video Games

2011-02-05T19:43:00.002-06:00

I don't even know if you can see these properly...

Just click on the link below if you want to see the picture not all messed up with scripting and uncorrected due to laziness.

Just a Rock (imgur)

So Apparently Patrick Stewart is an Actual Captain

2011-02-05T19:39:00.003-06:00

I'm not gonna lie, that's pretty awesome.

I'm so confused by this right now (imgur)

CarInsurance.org Put Together a Nifty LIttle Guide...

2011-02-05T19:31:00.005-06:00

A nifty guide about Autobots...

That's just a partial list, click on this link to get the full picture.

I have no idea why they did it, but bless them for doing so... although there is almost no way for me to print this thing out like a poster and hang it unless I own a cathedral...

...

hmmm...

Christian Bale and Cat

2010-09-08T01:23:00.002-05:00

I don't remember seeing this in Equilibrium.

I don't know why this picture amuses me so, but it does.

What does 4 chan do when the mods are away?

2010-09-08T01:07:00.002-05:00

They post bread:

Those sick bastards.

Also, my friend just told me about MacroChan, my life is over.

Darkie Toothpaste.

2010-09-07T23:37:00.002-05:00

The thing about being the younger generation of our family is that, well, one of our favorite activity as a Taiwanese individual, is for us to tell every god damn person we can about how god damn racist us Taiwanese folks are. Take, for example, the Darkie Toothpaste:

I remember that at a later time of my youth, my grandfather switched his favorite "black man toothpaste" to "white man toothpaste", of which I just thought, to my racist little self: "I guess white man toothpaste is better?"

I also remember that they introduced some toothpaste with salt in it, declaring the cleansing power of salt, now on your teeth.

THIS ALL HAPPENED DURING THE 80'S!

God damn we were some fucked up racists.

Nicolas Cage as... Everyone.

2010-09-07T23:30:00.003-05:00

Through some inexplicable and baffling event, someone decided to start a blog dedicated to reimagining what... well, everyone will look like if they are played by Nic Cage...

I must have missed the memo, but this is perplexing.

I'm not quite there yet...

2010-09-02T01:48:00.007-05:00

Daily posts are still going to be few and far between, gotta get ready for a move and all.

See you on the flip side, which is a term I don't quite understand, because if your side got flipped, then shit, wouldn't you be upside down and breaking the law of gravity, which isn't really a law and more of a "I will follow your silly ruling for now, until I can stab you in the heart and then fly to my heart's content."

Oh, right, enjoy some boobs:

Taking a picture AND masturbating to it? Why, I believe someone has taken your advice, nice lady!

Posture

chest forward and back straight, yes...

Cleavage

I mean, really very epic...

Fiber-Optic Bra:

They glow in the dark. COMING NEXT SUMMER: FIBER-OPTIC PENIS SHEATH!

"Benny!" you say, "all you do is catering to the lowest common denominator, don't you have some decency?"

Well, first of all, no, and second of all, Clowns:

It's true, no matter how much of a "people" clowns like to call themselves, all they want to do is to hurt you, inside and out. And seriously, it's hard to trust clowns, especially Zombie Clowns:

I've also thought that it's a Two-Face clown, actually...

Oh, right, here, and we'll finish with a puppy:

Soaking its golden retriever paws in a bucket of yellow water/beer/pee? Sweet god, puppies ARE retarded.

Do you ever get the feeling that fan made demotivators aren't really demotivators anymore?

Animals Are Sort of Useless... and are kind of weird...

2010-09-02T01:44:00.004-05:00

I actually came across this "Animal Facts" a few times before I found out it was from KinokoFry, which is deliciously enjoyable.

Ignore the rest of this post, as it's nothing more then Google bait:
A dog can eat an elephant: TRUE!
Every 100th egg a chicken lays contains sugar: that would explain why my scrambled eggs tasted weird...
Did you know? There are no chipmunks: I knew it!
Axolotls are members of the goat family: that also explains why it's called an Axolotl.
When left alone for 5-10 hours. Finches will begin to resemble Oliver Sacks: did you know that Oliver Sacks is a MD, a Doctor, an author, and a fine dancer?
Otters will amount to nothing: I feel for them, that's what my elephant-eating dog tells me every day, but in doggish.
Parrots are just bullshit: aw...

Wookie the Chew

2010-09-02T01:03:00.003-05:00

This dude has more pictures of his rendition of Star Wars characters as Winnie the Pooh. Oh, and Kessel Run:

James Hance may replace Brandon Byrd as my favorite pop culture artist... well, maybe not, but it'll be a tough fight.

Anti Theft Signs Are Better if You Write Them Yourself

2010-09-02T00:53:00.003-05:00

While browsing through boingboing they presented these two little gems...

It has such a nice built up from "reason" to "I will shoot you in the fucking face"
Passive Aggressive Notes

God, it's like reading Deliverance...
Robotpainter

Your Old Tires make for a Sexy Sink

2010-09-02T00:49:00.002-05:00

Or about as sexy as a sink could get unless you decide to create silicon sinks in the shape of breasts...

I want to put my face in it.

Award: RUBBiSH (Recycled Rubber Sinks)

All things considered, it could all be so much worse.

2010-08-20T00:14:00.002-05:00

Slowly working myself back into the internet groove, ever since they killed my manga streaming sites (some legal kerfuffle stacked on a waffle, I hear) I've been slowly getting back to browsing the interwebs. Once things settle down and I discover the magic of blogging, this blog will once again explode with content.

Not that it would matter at that point, everyone's moved on to facebook and twitter, or the new digg, or some other form of social web that lets you share your information with the same callous disregard as a piece of blackened banana peel.

Also, has anyone seen JayAre? I hear rumors that he moved to Mars, but I also hear that Martians make for terrible neighbors (lots of methane, apparently).

AT-AT Day Afternoon

2010-06-29T00:47:00.001-05:00

I'm basically driving my dog insane at this point

2010-06-29T00:44:00.002-05:00

I'm playing "Brodyquest" and "Promises Promises" back to back, not really as a scientific experimentation, per se, but just to see if my dog can learn to sing mad music.

So far, the "not really a scientific experimentation" is turning out to be a failure.

Now I remember why I'm posting...

2010-06-29T00:40:00.003-05:00

Well, once again, it's old news at this point, but BRODYQUEST!

ALL. DAY. LONG.

Also, for some odd reason, I've been google image searching "shaved dogs"

2010-06-29T00:38:00.003-05:00

Don't ask.

Also, this is not a dog, god damn it google!

"Promises Promises"

2010-06-29T00:29:00.005-05:00

Look, I'm pretty oblivious to all things pop culture, like finding out that the guy who sang this song:

Is Detective Brisco:

This picture is apparently from "photofest", or somebody, I don't know, but please let me know if you don't want that picture floating around.

Blissfully unaware, I was. Corrected though.

Also that song is completely stuck in my head.

This Nice Little Video Makes More Sense Then It Ought to...

2010-05-31T23:05:00.004-05:00

Babbage and Lovelace in: ALBION: 1849!

Now with funky disco wah-wah background music.

For actual coherency, please refer all questions to this here website.

Captain Kirk is Climbing That Mountain

2010-04-30T01:17:00.001-05:00

Why is he climbing the mountain?

EMBED-Captain Kirk is Climbing That Mountain - Watch more free videos

A Musical Video Post

2010-04-27T19:39:00.003-05:00

First, do you remember Rob Paravonian's Rants against Pachelbel's Cannon in D?

It doesn't hurt to look back, because some nice Australian folks calling themselves "Axis of Awesome" expanded upon this concept some more:

If you go to this video's youtube page they've also put up the artist and name of all the songs they did, including Bird Plane.

Looks like now we all know how to make a pop hit.

Came Across a Few Pictures, Thought You May Like It...

2010-04-26T22:00:00.003-05:00

THOMAS AND FRIENDS!

TRANSFORM, AND ROLL OUT!

It may also need a "combine" in there somewhere, but that takes too long to say with dramatic impact.

Speaking of impact... What's better then Betty White and the ghost of John Ritter, you say?

How about Betty White in Slave Leia Bikini wielding a flaming chain-saw astride atop a John Ritter Centaur?

she also has a cape.

Humanity may be doomed, but it's in our twilight hours that we shine the brightest.

Law Abiding Engineer

2010-04-08T23:03:00.001-05:00

Seriously? They can do that with Team Fortress 2 assets now? Seriously?

PIXEL, or "How Old Video Games Will Destroy The World"

2010-04-07T23:05:00.003-05:00

yeah sure you can call them "8-bit" or "retro", but we all know what they are, they are god damn old games.

Still fun, that is, if you have the reflex and patience for it, my old bones creak just think about all the joystick motions and pulling quarters out of my pockets and the heavy hammering of the fire button even though Frogger don't have a fire button... what was I hammering?

It's not really a hiatus if I keep coming back.

2010-03-22T21:41:00.004-05:00

You've probably heard of chat roulette, and you might have also heard of Merton:

By the way, Merton is totally not Ben Folds:

I'm sure there will be more and more of these things pouring out of ever internet orfices that exists.

also here is another thing you probably already saw:

I'm not that easy to figure out, but if you put something internet related and some kind of Muppet related thing, I'd be drawn out of hiding just to be immediately crushed by a truck full of sardins.

Ultraman is Not So Ultra Now...

2010-02-03T22:09:00.003-06:00

From The Searcher:

Remember Ultraman? Remember how he had that thing where he could grow really large to fight monsters, but only for three minutes, and then he shrunk again?

Turns out he was stuck with that deadline even when there weren't any monsters.

The Searcher

Does this count at "japan"?

Well, Since I'm Already Here...

2010-02-03T21:53:00.001-06:00

Here, have a hot Vulcan Girl picture.

This New Yakuza 3 Video Basically Demonstrates Why I Love The Game

2010-02-03T21:45:00.003-06:00

If you don't know what Yakuza 3 is, fear not, because according to the sales charts (only applicable to USA and the first 2 Yakuza titles), nobody really know what Yakuza 3 is.

But I do, and that's all that matters.

KARAOKE!

SURPRISE!

2010-01-03T23:36:00.003-06:00

It's a "Tigger Loves To Molest Innocent Runners" Monday!

I resolve to spend less time browsing pornography, reading manga, and playing video games, so that I may start spending more time wasting away on the interwebs.

Actually, I'll probably end up doing more of that, oh well, it was a nice thought while it lasted.

See you next year.

No, not this year, next year.

That's like, not this year.

I think JayAre's dead.

Another Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T08:00:00.000-06:00

Shitter was full.

Did I Mention Marry Christmas?

2009-12-25T07:30:00.000-06:00

Hmmm... Oh well, I bet the Crucifix could use a bit of a cheering up, being all gloomy and reminding us of the savior's death and all...

Marry Christmas

2009-12-25T07:00:00.000-06:00

Unwittingly, He Trained A Dolphin To Kill The President of the United States

2009-12-10T21:43:00.001-06:00

Now this picture of an old man and an exploding ship will live on the internet, forever, easily searched with a few text entires.

And just for giggles: rapist deer.

This "TV Show" Video is Endlessly Fascinating.

2009-12-09T23:25:00.001-06:00

I. AM. FASCINATED.

Also, I need a "Japan?" tag, but I'm very reluctant to add that in, because then it'll just encompass everything that's bat poo crazy.

House Comic

2009-12-09T22:58:00.003-06:00

You probably saw this on Digg already

But I get the feeling I may know the guy that did it and... uh... it's a lot easier to read then the insanely wordy Cracked article.

Just When I Thought This is All Over...

2009-12-09T22:49:00.006-06:00

Somebody with the most awesomist (spell checker is telling me that is not a word, and that maybe I should replace it with "anatomist") tattoo shows up and makes me post about it.

Crikey (cricket? really?), it's a T-REX, WITH A TOP HAT, AND A TUXEDO, AND MONOCLE, AND BALLOONS, AND THE WORD AWESOME SO YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO MISTAKE IF FOR ANYTHING ELSE... well, that is, unless you can't read English, or read, or is blind...

Yeah I'm done.

Link

Good Morning, Monday!

2009-10-26T07:30:00.000-05:00

I'll just head on into the kitchen and get my self some BEARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGH!

You Will Not Be Able To Stop LIstening To This Song

2009-10-21T23:42:00.003-05:00

Shut Up Woman Get On My Horse

Nothing fancy, just a cute nice clean... um... ok, not super clean, but... oh shut up and get on my horse.

A Morning of Awkwardness is....

2009-10-21T07:33:00.000-05:00

Far better then a night of loneliness?

Debate.

Or not.

Bungee Horrors

2009-10-20T17:00:00.000-05:00

"No I don't want to do it!"
"Here let me help you."
"Oh thank god..."
"Yoink!"

Maybe I'll see you guys a tomorrow... or maybe I won't.

So... Sleepy...

2009-10-20T16:12:00.000-05:00

Man Blowing Bubble...

2009-10-20T15:44:00.000-05:00

Some Be Hatin

2009-10-20T14:22:00.001-05:00

'Cause his time will cause you.

The Anteater Visit The Nighthawks

2009-10-20T13:36:00.001-05:00

Anteaters are dicks.

Hey Guys, Remember When China Had That Quake and...

2009-10-20T12:09:00.000-05:00

Oh god I'm a horrible human being...

Midget Men?

2009-10-20T11:05:00.000-05:00

That shirt is awesome.

At least, I think that's a shirt, and not some blueprint overlay...

EMERGE FROM WATER!

2009-10-20T10:03:00.000-05:00

GHOST OF GIANT STATUE!

Tentacle

2009-10-20T09:34:00.000-05:00

Bears Love Honey

2009-10-20T08:02:00.000-05:00

It's not really an absurdity but more of a fact.

Little Boys Hate Mickey

2009-10-20T07:09:00.000-05:00

Meh, it's a Tuesday, and it's been a while.

O Rly?

2009-10-19T23:05:00.000-05:00

Bringing back 2001 like it's 199... wait, that doesn't make sense.

Bunsen and Beaker: Busted!

2009-10-19T23:03:00.002-05:00

Edit: now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I've posted this before...

So I Guess Wrestling Is Pretty God Damn Gay.

2009-10-19T23:02:00.002-05:00

I'm glad they stopped denying, at least.

Edit: christ, every time I come across this post I feel a bit more ill...

Teabagging for Jesus

2009-10-19T22:59:00.002-05:00

God damn tea-baggers, taking a perfectly legitimate and wholesome act and turning it into a tool of their nefarious political agenda.

This Kid Is Adorable.

2009-10-19T22:55:00.002-05:00

:3

But ok, seriously, internet, we need to talk. "colon three" does not have the same connotation as some people like to imagine, where it looks like a mischievous cat grin. No, instead, it looks like a pair of eyes with testicles instead of mouth. That's a facial expression full of balls, people, BALLS!

Terrible Wine Names

2009-10-19T22:53:00.001-05:00

This Where Old Taxis Go To Die...

2009-10-19T22:52:00.000-05:00

McCain is Friggin' Old...

2009-10-19T22:51:00.000-05:00

And apparently feeds on the blood of the young ones.

OK SO I HAD THAT PICTURE FOR LIKE A YEAR GIVE ME A BREAK IT'S FRIGGIN' HARD TO CONCENTRATE ON THIS DAMN BLOG HERE HAVE AN OBAMA ONE TOO GOD DAMN IT!

Please Don't Hurt The Animals While Teasing Them...

2009-10-19T21:55:00.000-05:00

What is love?

Grenade Boy

2009-10-19T21:48:00.001-05:00

Hey Kids, Vice President Biden Has Something To Say To You!

2009-10-19T21:47:00.001-05:00

Aw, that hurts me on the inside...

Best Friends

2009-10-19T21:18:00.002-05:00

I can understand maybe Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger, but Darth Vader seems pushing it, and then... Dracula? Really? Shouldn't Dracula be engulfed in flame?

Remember When This Blog Was Nothing But Stupid Pictures I Come Across On The Interwebz?

2009-10-19T20:39:00.003-05:00

Yeah... me neither, maybe some other time.

Trust me, there are times that I would come across some picture and go "OH MAN, I WOULD TOTALLY SHARE THAT PICTURE WITH EVERYONE!" and then I'll say "OH MAN, I LOVE DOING METH OFF THE BACK OF A HOBO STRIPPER!"

I may have problems.

WHERE THE HELL IS THAT VIBRATING NOISE COMING FROM?

Star Wars Mos Eisley Edit

2009-10-19T20:33:00.002-05:00

To anyone who watched this video and thought "Hey, I bet Benny would have liked this...", THANKS FOR NOT TELLING ME!

Just kidding, you may have some sort of disease if you saw this video and thought "hey, I bet Benny would have liked this."

This New Template is All Elegant and All...

2009-10-19T20:31:00.002-05:00

But why do I have a sudden urge to go sail a yacht?

And then DIE!

Edit: Actually, hell, it's GLARINGLY white!

Segata Saturn Shiro

2009-10-19T20:24:00.005-05:00

I can't be arsed to try and figure out what they are singing, or why what may look like an odd Sega Saturn mascot is body throwing every freaking person he come across and molesting passed out mothers in the midst of a house fire... I'm too busy being freaked out that Segata Sanshiro is going to come after me next.

Also, I really don't want to explode.

Oh, wait, this video from "the best damn podcast ever" will explain everything, plus show you all of the commercials and the translated music video.

NOOOOOOO, SEGATA SANSHIRO!!!!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

2009-10-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

Fine Excuses: Boadicea

2009-09-30T23:03:00.000-05:00

Another charming video that hit me in the right spot.

Mostly because there is a bear in there.

This Is Possibly The Worst Way To Die.

2009-09-29T12:36:00.004-05:00

So there was a car wreck out in Turkey involving some cars, a lorry, and a van. A van filled with bees.

I laughed heartily when I read this:

Rescue workers, police, medics and beekeepers tried for more than an hour...

And the laughter turned to horror when this happened:

...to release two people trapped inside the vehicle, their faces carpeted with angry bees.

Jesus god damn christ.

The Times: Man Dies After Bee Escape Hives In Crash.

Fun WIth Pork

2009-09-29T01:21:00.001-05:00

Two Comic Related Pictures Before I Go Off Pretending I'm Going To Sleep

2009-09-28T23:23:00.004-05:00

Have you ever spent days and weeks and month planning and working and sweating over some fantastic project, only to witness half of it burnt to a crisp from a freak thunder storm that caused a semi to set an orphanage on fire? While tragic, you salvaged what you can, trying to make the best of all your blood, sweat, and tears, and end up with this:

Wolverine from Weapon X is why I will never, ever, work hard for anything, ever.

In other news:

The internet can not be thanked enough, no matter how much my eyes bleed.

Nothing Good Can Come Of This

2009-09-28T21:28:00.002-05:00

Mechanical Tumor is an insane monstrosity thought up by Mio I-zawa whose sole intent is to jab a hypodermic needle full of crazy into our collective heart of madness.

I Love Visiting The Happy Pills

2009-09-28T13:02:00.002-05:00

Except that I don't live in Barcelona, and all it has is candy.

No, really, apparently it's a candy store in Barcelona.

Why would I lie?

Carl Sagan Explains The Universe, feat. Steven Hawkings

2009-09-28T12:56:00.001-05:00

AutoTune does make things better!

Kool'Aid Man in Second Life

2009-09-28T12:45:00.003-05:00

Incredibly Not Safe For Work, I will repeat, NOT. SAFE. FOR. WORK.

Kool-Aid Man in Second Life (.com) - Tour Promo from on Vimeo.

I do love how it is a perfect demonstration of what Second Life is now. I remember a few years ago when it was going to be the biggest thing since MySpace, and that it will be a paragon of the digital future set to transform lives never before seen. Now it is just a vast wasteland with beautiful and painfully haunting sceneries as a constant reminder of our optimism and failure. The survivors all abandoned their metropolis and congregated in deep casyms hidden from plain view, dancing and trading electronic fluids, birthing baby avatars unloved and uncared for.

THIS IS OUR FUTURE, PEOPLE, WE ARE DISEASED AND DOOMED FOR HORRIBLE SEX ACTS AGAINST EVERYTHING WE'VE EVER HELD DEAR!

Happy Labor Day!

2009-09-07T08:00:00.001-05:00

It's a bit hokey, but I think it got the job done.

Sand Painting: Taiwanese Advertising Style

2009-08-28T19:59:00.000-05:00

I'm sold, CONSUMER WHORE WILL... UH... go to zoo? AND BUY KITSCHY STUFFED ANIMAL SCHLONGS!!!

I Don't Do This All The Time...

2009-08-20T18:04:00.002-05:00

But the following texts are so brilliant that I'd be remiss if I don't post it.

Received via email from a friend, sorry mystery source, no linky!

Random thoughts from people 25-35 years old..

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-That's enough, Nickelback.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"
feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

- I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this.
It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room.
Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself.
There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

I can't quite figure out why the "bears" tag is involved, but I figure it must.

Wil Wheaton Wears A Clown Sweater...

2009-08-17T22:30:00.005-05:00

He caught the bug, and spread it to the rest of the crew:

Apparently people have nightmares about that sweater.

Consequence of Gay Marriage

2009-08-17T22:29:00.001-05:00

SHIT WE ARE ALL DOOMED!

2009-08-17T22:17:00.002-05:00

The best 8 minutes 33 seconds I've spent in a while.

Stolen from wingy:

Kseniya Simonova is a Ukrainian artist who just won Ukraine's version of "America's Got Talent." She uses a giant light box, dramatic music, imagination and "sand painting" skills to interpret Germany's invasion and occupation of Ukraine during WWII.

It starts with the original radio announcement on June 22, 1941 German army invading the Soviet Union. Followed by very popular songs written about the WWII. In short, it's a story about a woman that loses her loved one in that war, but their child is a memory of their love. The last words are: "You are always near me".

The Inglourious Plummers

2009-08-17T22:12:00.002-05:00

Here is the official trailer for The Inglourious Basterds.

Really though, no embedding? Do we still live in 2003?

Well Now There Is A Protest I Can Get Behind

2009-08-17T22:07:00.003-05:00

Actually... no, I can't, I didn't really like Arrested Development.

An Ok Thing